One to Two

I leave in 2 days for Ethiopia! REMY! REMY! REMY!

Yup, that’s right. Three weeks or so have passed since the last blog and to summarize: the birth parent interview occurred, a document was not submitted, a frustrated and heated email was sent, Rosh Hashanah took place and an atoning email was added, a document was submitted, and then WE CLEARED!

Of course, other things took place. We went to Thomas’s Day Out, which was absolutely insane but completely worth it.

Elijah made us very proud-he waited very patiently during the 45 minutes we had to wait to get a shuttle bus to the Thomas site and then another 30 minutes while we waited AGAIN to catch the next train since we missed our scheduled one. I think my generally calm and mild-mannered husband was going to assault someone if we didn’t get on a Thomas train, but luckily for all of us, it was no problem, and Elijah’s joy quickly erased any of our mutinous thoughts.

And it was Remy’s 1st birthday, which was honestly kind of a bummer of a day. It was during one of the silent periods from the Embassy, when it just felt like she might never be coming home. Our friends Lauren and Paul came over and brought cupcakes from Sweet Freedom bakery, so cupcakes were, in fact, enjoyed (although not by Paul, who described them this way: “This cupcake tastes like a cupcake that has already been chewed up”. Ouch. Lucky for him, there was some carmelized fig cake.) There are no pictures, because I was just not in a picture-taking kind of mood (that and Joe ate the last cupcake before I could).

We had a visit from Nini, PawPaw, and Auntie Lizie that included a final eco-golf round, dinner out, and lots of hysterical laughter and the type of amped-up excitement that only comes from orbiting in the love vibrations of so many favorite people all at the same time. The Choco nana might have also contributed too.

And there was apple picking, followed by a visit to beloved Terrain where many candles were sniffed and breakable things were touched haphazardly. A trip to the vet for Harvey, three trips to the dentist for poor lovey, walks to get ice cream, playdates, all the little activities that make up a life. Our life.

Elijah knows I am leaving now (I told him on Tuesday because Remy came up during dinner), but I think he has been sensing it for a while. He’s been kinda clingy, kinda emotional, kinda troubled by transitions. And I am sure the way I feel isn’t helping:

Terrified about leaving him for almost a whole week. Sentimental about the fact that he won’t be my only baby. Worried that the transition to being a big brother will be really, really hard for him.

This is the last week of his life that he will be an only child. No matter how rationally anyone tells my to look at it, I know this about my boy: He loves snuggling in bed with me in the morning and reading Curious George books, he likes to sit on my lap everyday for breakfast, he only wants me to wear my hair in a ponytail, and he likes for me to get into my pajamas the same time he does so that he knows I am not going to leave the house after he goes to bed.

His world is about to have a seismic shift. It is one we have asked for, prayed for, begged for, but I can’t deny the impact it will have upon him and upon our family. I feel complete elation that Remy.Is.FINALLY.Coming.Home!!!!, but there is definitely the sense of the unknown.

In two days, I will get on a plane, and leave behind our life as a family of three. I mean 4!

Sorry, Harvey! You were really our first baby. In 8 days, I will return, beautiful baby on hip, to start our new life. When I was sad about missing Remy’s birthday, my cousin, herself an adoptive mother, emailed me:

“so you’ll celebrate her b-day belatedly–she will come home to you–and despite all the unknowns, something else wonderful will happen too–trust the universe.”

I’m choosing to trust the universe.

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